Monday, March 5, 2012


It's that time again. Too tired to fuck with the WIP anymore, the wife is asleep upstairs, and run rum is warm in my tummy. Sometimes the run has taken a little too much of my self-restraint, and I find myself rushing down here in the morning to erase whatever petty, bitter bullshit I posted the night before. If you look at the times these posts are made, in American time, they're pretty much all around 10-11 p.m., right before I go to sleep. Not exactly my best work, but if I'm lucky enough to land an agent upon completion of my WIP, I'm pretty certain said agent will demand that I pull this all down anyway. It doesn't matter, it's chathartic, and that's all I really want, that and to keep the two followers abreast of my status so they don't think I've surrendered to self-doubt and packed it in.

Those are my friends Mark and Bonnie on the slopes of Utah. I don't remember the year, but it was before I was gray. I never hear from them any more, and I'm pretty sure it's my fault. I'm too lazy to maintain relationships properly. I'd rather be home...doing this. I assume that means I'll die alone in some filthy home for the incontinent with the bad linoleum, and staticky black and white TV, and a big hairy nurse named Gertruda slapping me when nobody is looking because she doesn't like the look I give her when she doesn't clean the shit out of my diapers in a timely manner.

Okay, maybe that's going overboard.

I may be suffering a touch of irritability at turning fifty this coming Monday. There isn't much I'd change over the past fifty years, except I wish I would've danced more.


  1. Rum is good for the tummy. Maybe not for writing quality words, but hey, whatever loosens the thoughts can't be all bad, right?

    Fifty isn't so bad. Now, if you were going on ninety, I'd cut you some slack, but you still have plenty of time to get off your behind and dance. Just go do it. ;)

  2. Danced more? Really? Or is there some underspeak there!! What do I wish I'd done more of?? Writing I guess. I stopped when I had the kids and I wish I'd made time - though looking back, I know I couldn't have.
    Fifty is the new forty - hadn't you heard.